WASHINGTON, DC - The stormy relationship between Senator Evan Bayh (D-Indiana) and Congress has taken a bizarre twist.

Yesterday, Senator Bayh announced he “doesn’t love Congress,” and will be leaving her 11 months from now. In a particularly cold touch, Bayh made the announcement the day after Valentine’s Day.

“I don’t understand it,” a sobbing Congress told reporters yesterday, “we had such a great Valentine’s Day. Antiquing in the morning, a late afternoon picnic, and he sure wasn’t shy at that bed & breakfast last night.”

Slightly calmer today, Congress has gone public with the allegation that Bayh had fathered a child with her, and is now seeking to dodge his responsibilities. “We created him together, our love created him, and now he wants to leave us to deal with the mess.”

Senator Bayh was busy preparing statements to post on his Facebook page, and so was unavailable for comment

Political pundits everywhere are buzzing about Saturday’s appearance by Sarah Palin at the National Tea Party Convention. The former Alaska Governor spoke to an adoring throng of 1,000 tea partiers, but in a post-speech Q&A session, Palin was caught referencing crib notes she had written on her hand.

In a surprising move, Palin then granted Katie Couric a followup to her September 2008 interview. Apoliticus has obtained transcripts of several excerpts below:

Couric: So, when a political ally is pitching softball questions at you, what sorts of hands or other body parts do you read?

Palin: I read most of them, y’know, with an emphasis on those things written on skin, or on my dermis, which, as you know, is visible from my house…

Couric: So, there’s not one particular hand…

Palin: Geez, Katie, y’know, the world doesn’t revolve around you!

Couric: You’ve also recently defended Rush Limbaugh’s use of the word “retard,” after calling for Rahm Emanuel’s firing…

Palin: Well, as you know, Katie, Rush was being satirical…

Couric: Tell me what “satirical” means to you.

Palin: In what respect, Charlie?

Couric: My name isn’t Charlie. What do you say to parents of children with disabilities, who feel your defense of Rush is a betrayal of their children?

Palin: I’d say they just don’t get it. Maybe they’re slow or something.

Palin then cut the interview short, explaining that it was the best thing she could do for CBS News.

Number 10:  Al Gore

It seems like we see more of Al Gore now than when he was Vice President.  One minute he’s all over NBC’s “Green Week”, and the next he’s traipsing around Copenhagen thinking he’s going to end global warming.  You may not realize this, but he’s actually part of a famewhoring team.  You may remember his wife, Tipper, caused quite a stir in music industry in the late 80’s when her group the Parental Music Resource Center (PMRC) pressured record companies to place those irritating “Parental Advisory” stickers on offensive albums.  So if you think about it, at least Al’s crusade doesn’t encourage your Mom to throw out all of your Wu-Tang CD’s.

One more inconvienient truth: He's not going away.

Number 9:   The “Birthers”

The group with a name that sounds like a trendy Lamaze school sure does love the limelight.  Their sacred quest to find a certified copy of President Obama’s birth certificate goes on – and has gotten this assembly of rabid fanatics a whole lot of attention.  But here’s hoping they change course,  get a little bit “TMZ” on the matter, and start searching for something far more interesting, like compromising photos of Obama and one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses.  It’s probably not out there, but it’s more entertaining than some boring birth certificate.

Number 8 & 7:  Rush Limbaugh & Al Sharpton (tie)

We’re going to tie these two together only because they joined famewhoring forces in October of ’09.  It all started when Rush wanted to buy the St. Louis Rams, so Al quickly penned a letter to the NFL commissioner, vehemently opposing any possibility of Limbaugh owning the team.  The next move was Rush’s, who spoke some allegedly slanderous words about Sharpton.  After that, Al threatened to sue Rush for defamation.  How did it end up?  Who even cares?  All we know is that the two of them enjoyed yet more unnecessary time in the spotlight.

Just when you thought things couldn't get worse for the Rams...

Number 6:  Joe Lieberman

He’s a Democrat who thought about changing his affiliation to Republican, but decided on becoming an Independent Democrat – whatever that is.  Joe’s pioneered many great techniques to keep the focus on himself – from threatening to thwart change with filibusters, to creating the longest sound bites ever by speaking in a low, droning monotone.  Maybe you used to think Connecticut was all about snobbish, wealthy preps, but Joe has taught us that the state’s gold coast can get a little feisty if need be.

Now that we know that: Joe, please go away.

Number 5: Dick Cheney

Who was hoping that Dick Cheney would disappear after Bush left office?  And by “disappear”, we admit we meant something a little sinister.  But alas, the Penguin-esque former Vice President has made a hobby out of publicly bashing the new President.  Part of the prototype in the typical famewhore model is being able to boldly show one’s face, in spite of one’s involvement in an embarrassing scandal or ordeal – and Cheney’s got dozens of those.  Most people wouldn’t even bother to show up at the family Christmas party after shooting their friend in the face.  Hats off to you, Mr. Cheney – you’ve got balls of steel.  But that still doesn’t mean we need to keep seeing you on Fox News every other day.

Because America always could use a bit more Dick, and we know of one Dick who wants to give more Dick, and that's Dick

Number 4:  Silvio Berlusconi

Thought the reality show “Jersey Shore” gave Italians a bad reputation?  Berlusconi makes more  material in a week than the Shore can produce in three seasons.  From allegedly having sex with a minor, to calling President Obama “young, handsome and tanned”, to dry humping a meter maid… he’s always getting in some kind of scandalous scrape.  This Gaffemaster certainly knows how to keep himself in the public eye.  But we’re kind of hoping he’ll stick around for a while – he’s sort of like an Italian version of Don Rickles.

Winner of Tropicana's "Best Tanned Douchebag" Award for 2009

Number 3: Mark Sanford

Mark Sanford takes the famewhore code to a whole new level.  Not only does he never fear his adversaries, but he also won’t let his own scandals die.  This is the only guy in the universe who will voluntarily bring up his indiscretions, even when the public has stopped talking about them.  After refusing to resign because of a sex scandal involving misused state funds, the temporary desertion of a government post, and an icky claim that he’d found his “soul mate” with someone who was not his wife, Mark has made South Carolina work for his reprimand – because resignation would have given him much less face time with his adoring fans and constituents.

Number 2: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

This guy gets around more than most celebrities shilling their new book or album.  He’s been on 60 Minutes, the NBC Nightly News, Charlie Rose, ABC’s This Week and many more.  Mahmoud should really make the most of these appearances and bring a copy of his latest ebook, “The Great Deception – Andy Samberg was Never Really on a Boat”. What’s next, a DNA test on The Maury Povitch Show?  “Mahmoud, you are producing nuclear weapons.”  Imagine the ratings boost The View will gain when Mahmoud shows up and Whoopi Goldberg tears him a new one.

And another thing...we condemn the infidels who created the new "Melrose Place"

Number 1: Sarah Palin

When it comes to blowhards, Sarah Palin blows.  Hard. It’s too bad her Tina Fey looks don’t seem to accompany some Tina Fey smarts – not to mention she’d really suck on 30 Rock.  Sarah “Barracuda” is the Queen of  famewhoring – which is a feat, considering the woman has never even read a magazine.  Here’s hoping Sarah’s future involves a public stockade and maybe a dunk tank…anything that doesn’t group the words “Palin” and the number “2012” together.

Please pay attention to me...

Famewhores keep things interesting.  It’s like the guy that’s at every party yelling, “Woo-hoo!” and doing way too many keg stands.  He might irritate the crap out of you, but it would get pretty boring if he wasn’t around.  In fact, how much fun would the party be if someone could get all of the people in this list to show up?