WASHINGTON, DC – The GOP has announced a partnership with the ACME corporation to provide planning and logistics for Congressional Republicans’ next meeting with President Barack Obama. They hope to avoid a repeat of the previous two such meetings.

At January’s presidential visit to the House Republican Issues Conference, President Obama offered to answer questions, live on camera. The result was political carnage, with Republican insiders recognizing their mistake within hours of the event’s finish.

The GOP seemed prepared for Thursday’s Healthcare Summit. Although the event was ostensibly their own idea, they called it “a trap,” and armed themselves with piles of talking points. The result was six hours of talk that saw them no closer to their goal than when they started.

That’s where ACME comes in. A high-level GOP strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity, said “We were right to call it a trap, but we kept hearing that it was a trap of our own making. A trap of our own making! That gave us the idea to hire ACME.”

The company will provide logistical support for the Republicans’ next meeting with the President, which sources say will occur near an overhanging rock in the desert. ACME will ship crates of rockets, pulleys, anvils, and other implements to the location, where House Minority Whip Eric Cantor will have to set them up himself.

Some analysts see the move as a shot at the GOP’s current strategist, Richard Dastardly of the consulting firm of Dastardly, Muttley, & Luntz. “Nothing could be farther from the truth.” said Dastardly via an emailed statement.

“We welcome ACME’s participation. Our firm has tried to nab him, without success. We’ve also tried to grab him, tab him, and even jab him, sound strategies, all. If ACME can help, so much the better. The important thing is that we stop that POTUS now!”

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters Saturday that the President, upon hearing the news, responded by saying “Meep! Meep!” and disappearing into the horizon ahead of a winding vapor trail.