Function: Noun
The shared enjoyment of a politician’s blunders and misteps, brought on by the public’s realization that they have given a politician more credit than they deserve and the resultant need to try and take it the hell back. Accentuated by a politician’s general tendency towards douchebaggery.

Testing new boundaries...the Chuck Yeager of the English Language...

Function: Noun
When understanding the first line of political speech requires the same brainpower as completing the New York Times crossword, you know that politician is using Subject-Optional Paragraph Structure (SOPS). SOPS is a high-fat low-calorie massacre of Shakespeare’s language, and has been perfected by one plucky Alaskan (ex?) politician by the name of Sarah Palin. It involves shoving as many subjects as possible into any single sentence/paragraph such that the end result is no particular subject at all.

Listening to Palin is like taking a roller coaster ride, it is a vertitable linguistic tsunami…it leaves teleprompters smoking, speechwriters mistrusting their own grammar and the audience trying to decipher the meaning of the first sentence up until the point that the last is spoken, only to capitulate and arbitrarily ascribe a meaning.

Sarah Palin makes run-on sentences her bitch, and America almost signed on for 4 years of this nell speak after 8 years of W having gotten all Yosemite Sam on the English language, shootin’ and hollerin’ and roping up proper English like a wide-eyed calf at a Texas Rodeo.

Palin’s paragraphs come in two varieties:
1) A complete and utter strikeout. A category 4 speech fail. Complete nonsense:

2)When lucidity arrives, Palin will pack the following subjects into whatever sorry SOB sentence/paragraph she has decided to use to deliver her verbal defectation:

-Oil, oil and more oil, I know where it is, you know you love it, let’s pump together.
-Salt of the earth Americans. Please believe I’m one of them.
-Actually knowing shit is for losers
-Mainstream media sux

But wait, Palin can even bomb when she’s in her Texas tea comfort zone:

We’ll miss not understanding a goddamned thing you say Sarah. Understanding politics makes our head hurt anyway.

Sleeveless Dresses: Who The Hell Cares?

1: When the media begin to obsess over inane details surrounding a presidency, whether it be presidential golf scores, the type of dog that the first family will get, or the first lady’s penchant for sleeveless dresses. It is political information that is a zero-calorie contribution to democracy and it will slowly liquify your brain, so you won’t be able to process the important stuff when it comes along.