Top 10: Weirdest Political Parties
We know…these days you are finding the two-party system of government a bit limiting. Republicans, Democrats, same old same old. The only “party” in politics that seems interesting these days is the Tea Party, and that really isn’t a party is it? It’s just a bunch of angry folks getting together who don’t spell check their signs or fact check their facts. Well, outside of our current crop of fascinating crackpots, there are some actual political parties that make or have made politics interesting. Heaven forbid that any of these parties ever get into power, but on the periphery, they are interesting as hell. Here are The Top 10: Weirdest Political Parties:
Number 10: The NEE Party (Belgium)
In Belgium, voting is not a privilege, but rather a requirement. The NEE Party gives those who have no viable candidate to vote for the opportunity to cast a ballot for “no one” – as nee is Dutch for “no”. NEE’s curvaceous Senatorial candidate Tania Derveaux posed nude in a campaign poster promising the creation of 40,000 jobs. Turns out Tania’s supporters preferred a different favor, and the poster was changed to promising “40,000 blowjobs” instead.
Number 9: Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party (US)
Satanist Jonathon “the Impaler” Sharkey has run for President, Congress and Governor of Minnesota under his Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party. Sharkey stood for a few key issues coincident with that of many Democrats: bringing home the troops and prescription care for all. However, also wanted to completely repeal the 16th amendment, and “impale anyone found committing an act of terrorism in Minnesota”. After his attempts at public office, Sharkey was arrested several times for various offenses, including allegedly threatening a judge via email, writing, “I promise this Court while I am executing [Judge] Certo his family will violate one of the offenses punishable by death, and I will then execute his loved ones as punishment. From the youngerest (sic) to the oldest.”
Number 8: The Sex Party (Canada)
The Sex Party was founded in 2005 by Attorney John Ince with the intention of promoting “sex-positive” attitudes. Their slogan is, “Sex is good. Let’s make it better.” The Sex Party aims to revoke or repeal many sex-related laws currently on the books in Canada and institute some new ones, like providing sex toys to those in long-term care facilities and establishing a Sex Worker Empowerment Program.
Number 7: The Work Less Party (Canada)
It’s tough to think up a more effective name than Canada’s “Work Less Party”. With the slogan, “Alarm clocks kill dreams”, this party is easy to like. The Work Less people believe that working less (32 hours as opposed to 40 per week) would not only improve the quality of one’s life, but would enable Canada to consume less, therefore saving valuable resources. In addition, the Work Less clan claims that fewer work hours will strengthen families and communities, increase minimum wage, and promote cultural activities.
Number 6: The Guns and Dope Party (U.S.)
The Guns and Dope Party asserts that minority groups of “gun lovers” and “drug lovers” should join forces, becoming a powerful majority to fight what they consider the current “tsarist takeover”. G&D’s legend states that God spoke to the party’s philosophical adviser Robert Anton Wilson through an ostrich named Olga. The Guns and Dope people implore you to, “Like what you like, enjoy what you enjoy, don’t be afraid to make slurping sounds, and don’t take crap from anybody.”
Number 5: The Charity, Freedom and Diversity Party (Netherlands)
Charity! Freedom! Diversity! Sounds great, doesn’t it? Before you sign up, you may want to learn a little more about this party. The Charity, Freedom and Diversity Party was actually created by pedophiles who wish to have the age of sexual consent lowered from age 16 to 12. The C.F.P hasn’t been officially been approved…yet. Interested members will have to cool their jets until the party is legal, but they’re probably used to that.
Number 4: Double-tailed Dog Party (Hungary)
The Double-tailed Dog Party is a joke party from Hungary. Their only member is fictional István Nagy the Two-Tailed Dog, who excels at making empty, but very extravagant campaign promises. István promises voters eternal life, world peace, one workday per week, two sunsets per day, smaller gravitation, free beer and low taxes. These days the Double-tailed Dog Party focuses mostly on Zen-style street art with phrases such as, “Danger! This sign might waste precious seconds of your time. Please, go away!” and “Signs lie”.
Number 3: The Anarchist Pogo Party (Germany)
This Punk Rock-inspired organization formed in 1981 aims to bring a little chaos to German government. The Pogos promote ideas such as: youth pensions instead of retirement pensions, the abolishment of compulsory education, “fuckpooling centers”, abolition of police, and the legalization of all drugs. To promote the party, one can purchase shirts with snappy sayings such as, “Work is shit!” and “Stupid and happy!”
Number 2: The New Millennium Bean Party (UK)
Barry Kirk, a.k.a. “Captain Beany”, is a peculiar, bean-obsessed man who began the single-member New Millennium Bean Party in 2000. The New Millennium’s manifesto included proposals such as, “Prince William to be given a bachelor flat in Cardiff Castle so he can date Charlotte Church”, “All tattoos to be bilingual” and “Children to choose their parents”. Sadly, Beany didn’t win any elections despite his best efforts, and the party is now defunct.
Number 1: The Miss Great Britain Party (UK)
Founded in 2008, the Miss Great Britain Party was created under the guise of giving voters a fourth alternative to the three major parties of Britain. One of the platforms of the Party was, “Compulsory health and beauty education to improve the looks of Britons.” Sadly, the women of the Miss Great Britain Party enjoyed a very short-lived political life, as it the party lasted only until 2009.
Will the Guns and Dope Party steal the 2012 presidential election? Will Vampires, Witches and Pagans overrun Congress in the next midterms? Did this article make you consider changing your affiliation? The next time someone asks you, “What are you registered?” will you answer, “Guns and Dope, of course!
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