Washington, D.C. – In a rare case of outsourcing its daily legislative affairs, Congress today announced that it will be hiring 87 undocumented workers to hammer out every aspect of the controversial comprehensive immigration reform bill that has been a long sought after goal of many previous presidential administrations.

The workers, only some of whom have any prior experience writing major bills that affect the nation as a whole, have promised that they will deliver a decent bill as long as they receive a decent day’s wage in exchange. Hector Gutierrez, a 38-year-old Mexican day laborer who specializes in installing dry wall and writing large, convoluted blocks of text that eventually become law, says he will make it his duty to give the American people a bill that is both stern and fair. “We may have only just been picked up from the outside of a Home Depot, but we are more than qualified for the job.”

On the subject of bringing in the immigrants to handle the dirty work of writing the bill, Senator Charles Schumer said, “We have agreed — along party lines, mind you – to step aside in these troubling economic times in order to bring in workers that will be less of a financial burden on the American taxpayer and on our national debt.”

He added, “They will do the work and we in Congress will take the credit for building a better nation. It’s an American past time that we intend to honor to its fullest.”