Top 10: Political Famewhores
Posted by Lisa Wright on 2/01/10 • Categorized as Top ListsIt seems like everyone is whoring for fame these days. It used to be that politicians weren’t just interested in fame for fame’s sake, but were concerned about how they would be remembered (you know, the whole “legacy” thing). Now, they seem to just want to be remembered or better yet, never forgotten. It has gotten so bad, that famewhores who wouldn’t otherwise be interested in public service are slithering in to politics to get their 15 minutes and then some. Some start out as ministers, others begin as beauty queens, and some are actors (remember the 2003 California gubernatorial recall election?), but one thing is for certain: some folks just won’t get off the soap box, and we are thinking that it’s time to call them out (thus drawing more attention to them…we get the irony commenter #2) here are the Top Ten: Political Famewhores:
Number 10: Al Gore
It seems like we see more of Al Gore now than when he was Vice President. One minute he’s all over NBC’s “Green Week”, and the next he’s traipsing around Copenhagen thinking he’s going to end global warming. You may not realize this, but he’s actually part of a famewhoring team. You may remember his wife, Tipper, caused quite a stir in music industry in the late 80’s when her group the Parental Music Resource Center (PMRC) pressured record companies to place those irritating “Parental Advisory” stickers on offensive albums. So if you think about it, at least Al’s crusade doesn’t encourage your Mom to throw out all of your Wu-Tang CD’s.
One more inconvienient truth: He's not going away.
Number 9: The “Birthers”
The group with a name that sounds like a trendy Lamaze school sure does love the limelight. Their sacred quest to find a certified copy of President Obama’s birth certificate goes on – and has gotten this assembly of rabid fanatics a whole lot of attention. But here’s hoping they change course, get a little bit “TMZ” on the matter, and start searching for something far more interesting, like compromising photos of Obama and one of Tiger Woods’ mistresses. It’s probably not out there, but it’s more entertaining than some boring birth certificate.
Number 8 & 7: Rush Limbaugh & Al Sharpton (tie)
We’re going to tie these two together only because they joined famewhoring forces in October of ’09. It all started when Rush wanted to buy the St. Louis Rams, so Al quickly penned a letter to the NFL commissioner, vehemently opposing any possibility of Limbaugh owning the team. The next move was Rush’s, who spoke some allegedly slanderous words about Sharpton. After that, Al threatened to sue Rush for defamation. How did it end up? Who even cares? All we know is that the two of them enjoyed yet more unnecessary time in the spotlight.
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse for the Rams...
Number 6: Joe Lieberman
He’s a Democrat who thought about changing his affiliation to Republican, but decided on becoming an Independent Democrat – whatever that is. Joe’s pioneered many great techniques to keep the focus on himself – from threatening to thwart change with filibusters, to creating the longest sound bites ever by speaking in a low, droning monotone. Maybe you used to think Connecticut was all about snobbish, wealthy preps, but Joe has taught us that the state’s gold coast can get a little feisty if need be.
Now that we know that: Joe, please go away.
Number 5: Dick Cheney
Who was hoping that Dick Cheney would disappear after Bush left office? And by “disappear”, we admit we meant something a little sinister. But alas, the Penguin-esque former Vice President has made a hobby out of publicly bashing the new President. Part of the prototype in the typical famewhore model is being able to boldly show one’s face, in spite of one’s involvement in an embarrassing scandal or ordeal – and Cheney’s got dozens of those. Most people wouldn’t even bother to show up at the family Christmas party after shooting their friend in the face. Hats off to you, Mr. Cheney – you’ve got balls of steel. But that still doesn’t mean we need to keep seeing you on Fox News every other day.
Because America always could use a bit more Dick, and we know of one Dick who wants to give more Dick, and that's Dick
Number 4: Silvio Berlusconi
Thought the reality show “Jersey Shore” gave Italians a bad reputation? Berlusconi makes more material in a week than the Shore can produce in three seasons. From allegedly having sex with a minor, to calling President Obama “young, handsome and tanned”, to dry humping a meter maid… he’s always getting in some kind of scandalous scrape. This Gaffemaster certainly knows how to keep himself in the public eye. But we’re kind of hoping he’ll stick around for a while – he’s sort of like an Italian version of Don Rickles.
Winner of Tropicana's "Best Tanned Douchebag" Award for 2009
Number 3: Mark Sanford
Mark Sanford takes the famewhore code to a whole new level. Not only does he never fear his adversaries, but he also won’t let his own scandals die. This is the only guy in the universe who will voluntarily bring up his indiscretions, even when the public has stopped talking about them. After refusing to resign because of a sex scandal involving misused state funds, the temporary desertion of a government post, and an icky claim that he’d found his “soul mate” with someone who was not his wife, Mark has made South Carolina work for his reprimand – because resignation would have given him much less face time with his adoring fans and constituents.
Number 2: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
This guy gets around more than most celebrities shilling their new book or album. He’s been on 60 Minutes, the NBC Nightly News, Charlie Rose, ABC’s This Week and many more. Mahmoud should really make the most of these appearances and bring a copy of his latest ebook, “The Great Deception – Andy Samberg was Never Really on a Boat”. What’s next, a DNA test on The Maury Povitch Show? “Mahmoud, you are producing nuclear weapons.” Imagine the ratings boost The View will gain when Mahmoud shows up and Whoopi Goldberg tears him a new one.
And another thing...we condemn the infidels who created the new "Melrose Place"
Number 1: Sarah Palin
When it comes to blowhards, Sarah Palin blows. Hard. It’s too bad her Tina Fey looks don’t seem to accompany some Tina Fey smarts – not to mention she’d really suck on 30 Rock. Sarah “Barracuda” is the Queen of famewhoring – which is a feat, considering the woman has never even read a magazine. Here’s hoping Sarah’s future involves a public stockade and maybe a dunk tank…anything that doesn’t group the words “Palin” and the number “2012” together.
Please pay attention to me...
Famewhores keep things interesting. It’s like the guy that’s at every party yelling, “Woo-hoo!” and doing way too many keg stands. He might irritate the crap out of you, but it would get pretty boring if he wasn’t around. In fact, how much fun would the party be if someone could get all of the people in this list to show up?
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where is obama on this list? it seems like its all republicans, are you people biased or am i living on mars
@knox Al Gore and Al Shapton are Republicans then?! muahahaha… Also, technically Lieberman isn’t Republican either, he’s just seems to be trying to be their towel boy or something because it helps gives him more leverage to vote the way that his masters in the great state of Aetna, USA have told him to on all things healthcare related.
As to Obama, he’s not on the list because he’s not a Political Famewhore… did you even read the opening paragraph or did you just immediately scroll down because you like pictures? Granted it’s quite obvious that you dislike him and will therefore disagree regardless of any logic.
Just be because someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t make them biased. You really need to stop watching FAUX News, it’s rotting your brain.
I’m surprised Bill Clinton isn’t on here. Also I’d move Al up to 2nd imo
How did Rod Blagojevich not make the list?!
Good point, Jim – but we were sick of him already. We included him on this previous story: http://www.apoliticus.com/2009/12/top-10-political-stories-in-2009-that-were-neither-political-nor-stories/ and then washed our hands of him.
Why do you bash Sarah Palin? Are all you liberals really that afraid of a little old soccer mom from Alaska? When she was on the GOP Ticket as VP, I didn’t think she was qualified. Now after 13 months with a socialist carrying the title POUS, I believe a monkey would be better qualified than the current occupant of the White House.
At least the Barracuda has experience in running something, i.e., City and State Governments. What does the POUS have on his resume? Community Organizer (code for thug) and some time in the IL Senate voting “PRESENT”.
@”diamond” dave, It doesn’t matter what political party you’re in on this issue. If you can’t SEE the things Palin does to whore herself out to the media, then talking to you is like talking to a two year old about engineering.
Hey Diamond Dave: The operative word here is whore. Too bad you repugs are having trouble with the new grownups who are trying to clean up the mess of the previous eight years.
Friendly Phil,
You’re not very friendly. I’m with Diamond Dave. And yes, Obama should be on the list. Is he ever in the white house in the oval office?
Oh, FriendlyPhil,
About the mess from the last 8 years…… Why hasn’t “wonder boy” cleaned things up yet? I thought he had all the answers. It’s about time to stop blaming Bush. BO’s been in office over a year now, and he’s made things worse!!
@faith
If he’s spending any time out of the oval office, it’s only because he has to dispel all of the lies that are being spread around to scare people and their grandmas. Unlike Bush who was practically on a permanent vacation.
You also might want to re-check your facts. Things have not gotten worse under Obama; they’ve actually stabilized considerably… though not politically since the racist nut jobs have started trying to overrun the Republican party.
Why is it taking more than a year? Because it was 8 years worth of damage that the previous administration left us with. Cleanups always take longer than the root cause. Since oil seems to be so big with Republicans such as yourself, let’s use that in a little exercise. Take a cup of motor oil and go stand in your living room, now turn your hand upside down and spill it onto your rug… that took what.. all of a second?… Now how long does it take for you to clean it up? Certainly not 1/8 of a second!
I wouldn’t be surprised if it take 12-16 years to undo the mess Bush put us in. Of course, that assumes the Judiciary doesn’t vote another Bush in like they did back in 2000.
If you need another way to think about it… Let’s imagine that the only way to get water is to collect it from rain drops (taxes) Now imagine that you’re going camping in a desert, and some guy (Clinton) hands you a canteen full of water that he has left over (surplus) from his camping trip there. You and all your rich oil buddies are thirsty and so you all swallow it down in one gulp (Tax Cuts for the rich). Then you borrow some water from a bunch of Chinese guys that are nearby and give them an IOU and then you and all your buddies suck that down (More Tax Cuts for the rich, Paying for two wars). And so on and so on… until 8 years later you have a huge deficit of water.
Please explain how the next guy who takes over your camping spot is supposed to pay back all that water that you and your cronies consumed along with the interest agreed upon for it without collecting any more rain, but while still consuming enough to keep everyone alive and also pouring plenty of the water needed to keep the troops of two wars going just to keep your sorry ass and those of your party happy. Bonus credits for explaining how it can be done in 1/8th of the time you spent being your natural gluttonous self.
I think “Palin 2012″ is the sequel disaster movie to 2012, isn’t it?