Top 5: Annoying Talents Of President Obama
Ever since ESL drop-out George W. Bush left office, the American people have had the luxury of listening to speeches that don’t include embarrassing misnomers and cringe-worthy faux-pas. But it’s not enough for the erudite Obama to be a Harvard graduate, a lawyer, a senator, the first black president and now a Nobel Peace Prize winner, he’s also annoyingly awesome in many other ways.
We’ve all encountered overachievers in life, and their blasé, Oh-yeah-I-climbed-Everest-in-‘96 attitude gets old quick. These are the types of people who have to be awesome even when they’re helping someone in need. You can’t even be a victim anymore – they’ll overshadow you while you’re breathless and bleeding on the sidewalk. “Yeah, it’s funny, I was on my way to my volunteer work when you fell out of that building and I caught you in my right hand while texting President Medvedev with my left. Pretty convenient how that worked out.” Yeah. Very.
Our president is one of these people. Let’s check out five of his talents that pluck him from the likes of us commoners, and place him gently amidst the awesome.
Number 5:He’s Urdulicious
The President is a voracious reader of texts in the English language, but long ago he moved on to other tongues and different alphabets. Obama was quoted in June as saying, “I have a great affinity for Pakistani culture and the great Urdu poets.” Oh really. And he’s not even pulling a Palin by generically citing “the great Urdu poets” like when Sarah answered “all of them” during the infamous magazine interrogation. That was just him being modest. Had he been asked which poet he specifically favored, he’d probably rattle off the names of three he couldn’t choose between, make a clever but brilliant joke, and that would be that. Of course he’s probably been reading American translations of Urdu, but for the purposes of this list, he’s a damn Urdu expert.
Need this translated? Call the White House...
Number 4: He’s an Android
There are some people who make the same “cheese” face whenever someone whips out a camera. They instantly transform into this photogenic machine as they tilt their head for maximum light absorption without too many shadows, accentuate their best side and show just enough teeth not too look like Jaws from “The Spy Who Loved Me”. So guess who’s got this photo-oppy talent down pat? Good old Barack Obama. The thing is, he got a little too good at this. Not only did he perfect the pose, he also can’t move out of it. Yep, the whole time the camera is on him, Obama is a frozen-in-time, wax-figure-lookin’ statue! Check out this video and see for yourself:
Barack Obama’s amazingly consistent smile from Eric Spiegelman on Vimeo.
Number 3: He’s a Grammy Winner
Okay, so he’s one part Urdu-reading smarty-pants, one part perfect for the camera…now what? Apparently he’s also a rock star. You may not know that Obama has won not one, but two Grammies for the audio versions of his books “Dreams From My Father” and “The Audacity of Hope”. Sure, it’s not Record of the Year, but still. On some mantel in the White House there is a statue, it is shaped like a record player, and it has the words “Grammy” and “Obama” on it. So, it counts.
Honey, can you please put this between my Harvard degree and Nobel Prize?
Number 2: He Can Bench 200 Pounds
Yeah, so the guy is a smart, charismatic rock star. But does he have to be strong, too? As if his intelligence and achievements won’t make you feel inadequate enough, he could bench press you and the bag of chips you’re eating right now and your cat and his two Grammies! Where does this man get the time to read, write, pose and push it out? Oh and we almost forgot, he has a mean point shot to go with that pectoral prowess. Obama 3, our egos 0:
Number 1: He’s Brad Pitt’s Cousin
Well, sort of. He’s actually his ninth cousin – close enough. This is not really a talent per se, but regardless, the following words are true: Barack Obama is Brad Pitt’s cousin.
It must have really sucked for the dudes in the late 80’s who were vying for Michelle’s attention just before Barack snagged her.
“Oh, did you hear? That smart chick you like is dating Brad Pitt’s cousin.”
“Damn it!”
“Yeah, he’s been taking her to Spike Lee movies and reading her Urdu love poetry afterwards.”
“Aw man, I didn’t even stand a chance!”
“His name’s Hussein or something.”
“Oh God. I gotta go.”
Lucky for America (or unlucky, as the case may be), the big steaming pile of crap that is the aggregate of our proposed health care reform, economy, and two wars abroad is keeping our president pretty busy, with less time to be awesome. But on the occasions that front page articles detail threats about lunatics with nuclear missiles, it’s nice to have an overachiever for a Prez. It’s all right if he makes most of his constituents look bad – at least the guy in charge is one well rounded S.O.B. You never know when that Urdu is gonna come in handy. He’s like the MacGyver of politics. Let’s hope he can fashion world peace out of a tiny gramophone and his immobile smile.
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And President Obama doesn’t smirk and giggle…which the Chimptard did often and always at the most INappropriate times.
THAT used to REALLY make me cringe. What an embarrassment Bush was.
Chimptard!
This guy is an assclown…you idiots need to stop swinging on his nuts and look at things with some intelligent thought. Maybe if your life and self esteem did not suck so much you could find someone that is actually worthy of your time.
Apparently “Jon” doesn’t think it’s a good thing for people to have national pride and respect for the leader of the free world. Can’t say that I agree with those sentiments.
Also, the simple fact is the nation has had a dramatic upgrade in the quality of our president, and the only reasons he hasn’t accomplished at least some of his goals already are opposition from the overly right-wing congress people who couldn’t recognize a good idea if it slapped them (and couldn’t define communism if with a dictionary in their hands) and a simple lack of time.
I can’t think of one thing talent he has at actually governing. Being president, one can’t simply vot “present”!
Well in response to some of the skeptical comments here, I think at least one thing we’re sure about the president… that is he is a charismatic leader who stopped what the former administration was doing and gain back international trust from all over the world
People obviously want things to be done right here right now, especially domestic issues, but hey, don’t you remember we’re in a democratic state? we have a government with 2 opposing parties and they argue all day to reach a consensus. if we expect miracles to just come in a blink, you need a magician, not a human as your president…
“Apparently “Jon” doesn’t think it’s a good thing for people to have national pride and respect for the leader of the free world. Can’t say that I agree with those sentiments.”
So in other words, respect unlike the very first sentence of this post? “Ever since ESL drop-out George W. Bush left office, the American people have had the luxury of listening to speeches that don’t include embarrassing misnomers and cringe-worthy faux-pas.”
I wouldn’t say we are so sure that Obama “… stopped what the former administration was doing and gain back international trust from all over the world.” They’re both big government clowns.
The Democractic and Republican parties serve the same exact purpose, the advancement of politicians. Funny how people will blindly stand behind their party and politicians regardless. Suddenly now we need to respect the President, but while Bush was in office, I saw more ridicule of the President than I had seen of any politician in all my life.
For some reason, Democrats think our government now is doing such a great job. Why? Because Obama says so? Cause all I know is that not a damn thing has changed about this government in decades.
It drives me crazy when I read about everyone putting down the president. #1 We voted for him so get over it, he is there until he is voted out or he keels over in the oval office, #2 it took Bush 8 years to completely destroy this nation (not that it was perfect before he went in office) and everyone expected the black man to go in and instantly fix everything… NOT GONNA HAPPEN. It takes time to correct other people’s mistakes and Bush was one of our biggest… And no I did NOT vote for Bush and yes I do vote so I have the right to complain. I will leave it at that, some of you need to open your eyes and see he is trying to fix what has happened to this country, he needs the opposition to quit their whining and BS and more importantly, he needs time.
I love how Bush takes all the blame for everything that went wrong. I think all Dems will agree that things just kept getting worse year after year. That means that it was worse in 2008 than it was in 2006. Let’s not forget that the Dems took solid control of congress in 2006 and things only got worse. Was it all their fault? No. But, I could easily come up with some arbitrary statement about how we were finally starting to go in the right direction and then it was all ruined by the Dems. This is the same type of argument used by either side all the time; it’s similar to “we’ve prevented x jobs from being lost”.
You people need to stop giving credit and blame to the politicians when they don’t deserve it. Sometimes economies rise and fall just like anything else. The president doesn’t have some magical dial he can turn that will have some far-reaching effect to change everything. Though, Obama did try to lead us to believe that. I love how he talked this big talk to get into office and AS SOON as the election was over he shifted gears to “Well, this is going to take some time” and all of his sheep blindly follow his lead. He knows he can say “the past 8 years” and the generally stupid American people will believe the line because everything that goes right or wrong for them in their lives is somehow the president’s responsibility.
asldf you all suck, Oboma sucks,
“I think at least one thing we’re sure about the president… that is he is a charismatic leader who stopped what the former administration was doing and gain back international trust from all over the world”
Sounds to me like someone has their head in the sand. Just ask our biggest allies, GB and Israel, how he is treating other countries.
For no good reason that I can find, people thought Obama would be this great diplomat despite his total lack of experience. They still believe it because they haven’t turned on the news since the election. Talk is cheap. Pay attention to what goes on.
Our President has a steady and dignified approach to our politics that is frustrating if you are an enemy and reassuring if you are a loyal citizen(with any brains).
By signing arms reductions treaties with the Russians, standing up to Netenyahu, preventing a depression, passing a Healthcare Reform Bill that moved our country in a humane direction that Presidents have been trying to do for almost a century! (in One Year!) Barack is getting the right results.
And an innumerable host of other things that include withdrawing from Iraq and moving to where Al Quaida actually is located.(F’ing Bush!)
Things move slowly in politics but the people of the United States voted for not just the Coolest-Guy-in-the-Room but maybe the Best.President.Ever.
Lets all take a chill pill, now. President Obama is doing an exceptional job considering what he was up against in cleaning up and getting us back on track. 8 years is a helluva long time for Bush to have enjoyed and ravaged our country for his and his wealthy pals gains. Lets remember it took 8 years to mess it up and it certainly will take a while to clean it up. In the meantime, the general feeling is President Obama is doing an excellent job.
President Obama and our First Lady Michele are bring back the pride of the nation. Helping us heal and move forward. We may have ended on our knees with Bush but, we are getting up! because YES WE CAN!
I can’t wait for 2012 because I will once again stand up and vote for him. He needs to continue to do what he does best. Lead us to become once again not only good or better but the BEST OF THE BEST. THE U.S.A. God bless my country and God bless our President!
“reassuring if you are a loyal citizen(with any brains).” Hopefully one day you will realize that it isn’t a matter of being smarter than someone else; it’s a matter of having a different approach and seeing things in a different way. Opposing Obama doesn’t mean you don’t have brains.
A Harvard graduate? Well, we don’t know that for sure, he’s never produced any official college transcripts to prove that theory. He’s never even produced an official birth certificate proving U.S. citizenship, but ignorant people [Obama supporters] continue to believe the biggest con job America has ever seen. This man [Obama] is an imposter, and he’s proved that by purposely destroying the economy with job killing legislation that obviously is written with the skillful tactics of Cloward & Piven. This Obama radical takes his marching orders from George Soros and the others of Crime Inc. You leftists can continue to be mesmerized by this presidential fraud just because he talks a good talk, but remember, Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler were also very eloquent speakers, but they were also very dangerous men. Michele Obama is bringing back pride to America Ladylala says? That’s absurd – Michele said that, “…for once in my adult life I am proud of my country.” She was anti-American before, and still is. Obama and libs have to resort to “blame Bush”, because Obama is so incompetent, but is he? I think he’s destroying America on purpose you know, because after all he is a Marxist. That we know for sure. Power to the people, not government, and God bless America and the Tea Party movement. Together we will preserve and conserve the Constitution.
I like the way Odumba is a perfect asshole, that’s a great talent, thanks dumbacrats for voting for this fool!
shut up.