Open Letter To The Angry Mob
Dear members of the angry mob,
Over the past few weeks, we have been observing your activities with great interest. As you have stood, united in your cause, standing shoulder to shoulder with your fellow men, we have never been more confident that the whole is never equal to the sum of its parts. In fact it is not equal to the sum of one part. Collectively you have displayed intelligence no greater than the last lemming to jump off a cliff after all its brethren have lept.
Don’t get us wrong. Individually, you may be top notch. You may be gentle folk who are saavy to the ways of the world. Like the good kid who starts to get bad grades when they hang out with the wrong crowd, you may have just lost your way. You may be dumb by association, or suffer from temporary dumbness. You may have a treatable version of dumb rather than a chronic dumb.
It is with this hope, and with temporary absence of that guy in the bud hat sporting a “Obama eats puppies and washes them down with kittens” placard, that we offer you a few immutable facts to help you determine whether you are running with a smart angry mob or a dumb angry mob.
Fact 1: There is no such thing as a smart angry mob
Do you get the sense that most of the people around you would not be able to provide an intelligent answer if asked why they are assembled? And that those remaining would have vastly different answers from one to the next? Chances are you are in an angry, directionless mob and your IQ has already dropped by 20 points. You should work your way out of the crowd immediately. Still not sure? Look at the signs that are being carried around…do they make any sense? Have they been checked for spelling? We didn’t think so.
Why doesn't she support the pubic option?
Fact 2: However bad the politician or the policy, remember that Nazis were really bad.
So Nazis were bad asses, and they exterminated 10 million jews, homosexuals and handicapped people during something called World War II. They also sometimes made housewares like lamps out of parts of the dead, all while trying to conquer Europe. They were really evil, not evil light.
If you are in a crowd that starts to say that such and such is a Nazi policy, and so and so is a Nazi, it is nearly certain you are in an angry mob, and you should get the hell out… Because you know who loved angry mobs? The Nazis…that’s who.
Fact 3: It is not expedient for a politician to support anything that sounds like part of a Twilight Zone plot line.
Generally, politicians have a concern about being re-elected, and this concern is with them from day one of their first term. Policies that involve feeding the electorate to aliens, keeping the citizenry in human zoos or subverting the political system (ok, there is this guy) are not in their best interest. Neither is something like a “Death Panel”.
If you are in a crowd and a very serious discussion erupts over the faked moon landing, chances are that the crowd will also be open to other crackpot theories du jour. You are in a nascent angry mob. Get the hell out.
More likely interested in serving man through public office...not with potatoes and coleslaw....
Fact 4: Canada can’t be to blame for everything…
Everyone knows that Canada is inherently evil, with their cuddly beavers and their insane notions about universal healthcare…at least everyone seems to know that in the crowd you arein. You are either in a South Park movie or the makings of an angry mob. No sudden movements, but kindly exit stage right.
Fact 5: The louder political pundits support the angrier mobs
Many angry political pundits follow mobs like you and I follow stocks, and they love volatility. If angry white guys were an ETF then the biggest shareholders would be Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.
Choosing a rally to attend based on a pundit’s recommendation is like asking a pharmaceutical company what drugs you should be taking. You should know that they will recommend what is in their interests…don’t get upset when that third arm sprouts up or when your appendages begin to change color.
These are just a few rules of thumb to heed so you can avoid being caught up in something that sane Americans will shake their heads at. Of course, you can always ignore these rules and have the exclusive opportunity to hang out with these guys:
26 Comments
Trackbacks
- Tupazakhstan and Other Funny Stuff: September 11th, 2009
- Daily Links for September 9th through September 10th | Akkam's Razor
- Weekend Drunk Links | What Entertains You?!? - Entertainment. Hotties. Cars. Gadgets. Videos. Guy Stuff....
- BlogBites. Like sound bites. But without the sound. » Blog Archive » If you are in a crowd that starts to say that such and such is a Nazi policy, and so and so is a Nazi, it is nearly certain you are in an angry mob, and you should get the he
WOW WAY TO TURN SOMETHING THAT ISNT EVEN A POLITICAL ARGUEMENT INTO A POLITICAL ARGUEMENT.
FEAR THE GOVERNMENT
Why are they called “mobs” if they have jobs and are conservative? When it’s the mooching liberals, they call it protesters. These are all americans and should have the right to be upset that a major part of our economy is about to change. Whatever the side, alot would change.
Mobs consist of emotional reactionary ‘lemmings’, group think victims. Protesters consist of humans, independent brain users.
yea, because liberal protesters are all extremely intelligent and articulate. stupid hack.
wow, so if someone doesn’t agree with your political position datt, then they aren’t even human. you dumbass.
There are no absolutes, simply explaining the difference between mobs and protesters. All intelligent/articulate, highly doubt it. More so then mobs, definitely. An example of a mob, which is a good example since some of the protesters above might recognize some of their relatives; http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Little_Rock_integration_protest.jpg
Way to cherry pick pictures to make one side look dumb and violent. Although I am sure you did the same type of article for opposing view points right. You did right. Your next post should be Open Letter To The Angry bloggers.
When one’s brain is overtaken with emotion, one ceases to be human and reverts back to ape instincts. Simple psychology, or is that too ’secular’ for ya yousuck?
In closing, I have nothing but pity for the folks above. They are being used as pawns in the name of profit for big pharma care. Their emotions are being used against them, as have their type for decades. When you attempt to help them, all you get is; BAAA BAAA BAAAA!
Liberal protesters can spell and have coherent signage:
http://cinie.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/civil-rights-pickets.jpg
Death Panels already exist. Insurance companies have them.
Re, john
September 10, 2009 • 2:27 pm
WOW WAY TO TURN SOMETHING THAT ISNT EVEN A POLITICAL ARGUEMENT INTO A POLITICAL ARGUEMENT.
Way to go, Brainbox – You misspelled “argument”, thereby helping the author prove his point. Now get back on the short bus.
Sarah, before you nitpick his spelling you may want to work on your own use of punctuation and capitalization. Being petty about something as trivial as spelling doesn’t do much to help your side of the argument.
The really crazy thing is trying to watch this while reminding yourself that this is about offering an affordable healthcare option to people who can’t afford healthcare right now. If you keep reminding yourself of the legislation at hand, you have to really wonder what on Earth are these people talking about? Their minds have been poisoned by Republican talk show hosts and politicians at the behest of the healthcare industry which cares more about profits than people’s lives.
“America, America, this is you! Stories from the friends next door, they never told! You might be a star tonight! So let that camera roll! You’re the red, white, and blue! Oh the funny things you do! America, America, this is you!” XD
they are a mob because they’re outrage isn’t based on grounded facts
death panels? please
obama the socialist ? Or, is it hitler Obama ?
If these people knew history they would know that he is neither and that the two are on the opposite of the polotical spectrum.
As a further note, fascism is “a form of political behavior marked by obsessive preoccupation with community decline, humiliation or victimhood and by compensatory cults of unity, energy and purity– passion” , kind of sounds like the repubicans right now when they scream things like obama is destroying america.
Someone else
September 10, 2009 • 5:21 pm … Being petty about something as trivial as spelling doesn’t do much to help your side of the argument.
You know what, Someone Else ? You’re right ! All I really need to do in order to help my side of the argument is stand back and let the mouth-breathing birthers and teabaggers keep up the good work.
These are protesters though right?
http://www.freestaterevolution.com/?p=281
“When a man spends his own money to buy something for himself, he is very careful about how much he spends and how he spends it. When a man spends his own money to buy something for someone else, he is still very careful about how much he spends, but somewhat less what he spends it on. When a man spends someone else’s money to buy something for himself, he is very careful about what he buys, but doesn’t care at all how much he spends. And when a man spends someone else’s money on someone else, he doesn’t care how much he spends or what he spends it on. And that’s government for you.”–Nobel laureate economist Milton Friedman
Thanks for all the comments folks.
almostrevolution: I would gladly write something that takes down Democrats a peg as the intent of this blog is to find humor in the political “sphere” rather than take sides.
The reality is that their is a lack of an intelligent debate on HC…and it just so happens that a lot (not all) of the things being said that have no basis in reality are coming from the right. Dem and Repubs and really citizens in general (IMHO) have a civic obligation to base their political stances on facts. Just because people can talk doesn’t mean that we have an obligation to treat what they are saying as something sacred, and if people say “dumb” things, by god it is the right of any blogger or citizen to call them on it. They shoulda done their homework. We shouldn’t reward intellectual laziness or else US civil society is headed for the bone yard.
Racists through and through. The world that they all grew up in (old white guys running everything) is disappearing. I would feel sorry for them, but ignorance is bliss.
Aren’t you all embarrassed yet? This is the worst of humanity- not stupid because they missed out on school, but stupid because they want to be. Willful ignorance. We are the laughing stock of the entire world because of you people. Get a life, and get out of my way.
Message to P . These so-called protesters aren’t exactly quoting Milton Friedman, Hayek, Von mises. or even Lew Rockwell jr. To suggest that these screamers are representative of Libertarian ideas is either misguided ( to be charitable) or delusional!
The left are at a loss because everything that they thought once was, is not as it seemed. Corruption and greed run deep- this is not just a Democrat thing, nor is is only a Republican trait- it is a Washington trait.
As an artist, I learned quickly that there was nothing liberating about the liberals I engaged with. And these so called liberals voted for people to conform them, conform society- a type of thought police. Their history books were closer to fiction then fact- and their non-reaction to the current administration, for example, proved that they had not learned about truth…
Liberalism has nothing to do with liberty. Liberalism is far from liberating.