Has anyone seen our new governor?

Lake Lucille, Alaska- Alaskan governor Sarah Palin announced her resignation on Friday, July 3rd, amidst rumors of an impending embezzlement investigation. Alaskans, remembering Barack Obama’s “Lipstick on a pig” comments from the 2008 Presidential campaign, began a frantic search to find that same pig to fill Sarah Palin’s shoes as governor.

One of the Alaskan pig hunters, speaking on condition of anonymity, explained  how a pig would be qualified to run Alaska: ” We aren’t talking about just any old pig, but a pig that is able to apply makeup….that’s gotta count for something”. Another hunter interjected: “At least we know that the pig won’t go on shopping sprees or need a state sponsored tanning bed”.

Lieutenant governor Sean Parnell, the person who actually will become governor when Palin leaves office, was visibly distressed that the lipstick pig seemingly had the confidence of the Alaskan electorate. He declined comment, though privately it is said that he has acknowledged that a lipstick-wearing pig is “kind of a big deal”.