Those First Few Rides Can Be Torture...

Washington-Revelations that the Bush administration had not actually authorized the use of waterboarding as an interogation tactic  rocked the nation today.

A leaked executive order, signed in 2002 by George W Bush clearly shows that he had actually authorized a daily regimen of wakeboarding, a sport that involves being pulled behind a motorboat on a plank that resembles a snowboard.

Further proof of the claim came in the form of an anonymously uploaded Youtube video that depicted well-tanned Guantanamo detainees skimming the waves off the Cuban coastline. One Guantanamo guard interviewed in the video was quoted as saying that the detainees had become ” quite good at keeping their balance, though the first few weeks must have been torture”. He had also mentioned that the detainees had begun to use Hawaiian Shaka or “hang loose” hand gesture as a salutation to the prison guards.

In other news, wakeboarders in Maine fled from a public beach that had mistakenly posted a sign authorizing waterboarding. No one was seriously injured. When asked about the incident, one of the wakeboarders swore that next time he would “just go surfing”.