November 2000-George W. Bush wins an uncontested, landslide victory on a platform focusing on the growth of renewable energy, a roll back of defense spending and an investment in biotechnology and cutting edge stem cell research.

Bush's VP Dick Cheney, a peace loving, environmentalist and a staunch advocate of responsible corporate governance, helped keep him focused on the right war to fight: namely, the war against poverty. Otherwise, he was totally hands off

Bush never shakes hands...he greets all heads of state with the chest bump, much to the chagrin of the diplomatic corps, who have to explain the gesture to India, Ghana and Turkmenistan after they threaten to recall their diplomats...

The world is left bewildered as US Secretary Of State Colin Powell goes to present before the UN, looks down at his notes and mutters this is bullshit. He walks out immediately afterwards. Nothing comes of it.

Bush vows to outlaw orange jumpsuits. Everyone caught wearing one is detained in Cuba. Underground jumpsuit clubs emerge all across the nation.

Donald Rumsfeld, Bush's Secretary Of Defence, died tragically early in Bush's second term when his brain exploded from pondering all of the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns...

With the economy doing fine, no one ever gets to know Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. George W Bush even forgets his name at a news conference, sending Paulson into a bout of depression which culminates in him painting remember me on his chest and streaking naked across the white house lawn.